They were lying on mats, leaning on their left elbows around a low table, close enough to feel each other's breathing. The beloved disciple can rest his head on Jesus' chest. Perhaps Judas was at Jesus' left hand, close enough for Jesus to hand him a piece of bread. It took place so naturally, it could have looked like the host giving the best piece to an honored guest: "My friend, have a special bite before you buy what we need for tomorrow." To others it appeared that, after Jesus served his disciples, Judas was imitating his example, and going to meet the needs of the poor. How could betrayal be in this room? Anyone who didn't like the death threats had stopped following Jesus a long time ago. But Jesus looked as distraught as he did outside Lazarus' tomb. Because this time, he wasn't looking at death. He was watching Satan devour one of his closest friends. And this time, he couldn't raise Judas from the dead. The Bread of Life could only give him a piece of bread. How did Jesus look at Judas with love, speak to him with tenderness, and feed him bread with such care that no one understood the exchange? As Judas chewed the warm bread, did he feel the terror of choosing something besides Jesus? I remember asking a student, "Do you still want to follow Jesus?" He paused and then said, "Actually, I just want to be with my girlfriend." We looked at each other and knew our time had come to an end. We shook hands, he walked out, and I never saw him again. I kept praying for him, but the rest of his story is in God's hands. We can sit at the table with Jesus, the Light of the world, and choose to walk out into the night.