Step 1: Emotional Honesty

We start with emotional honesty because one of the most important ways to measure the health of any relationship, including with God, is how vulnerable we can be with one another.

If someone is a stranger, we have little to no emotional disclosure in our relationship with them. But with our closest friends, we can be transparent. When there is trust, safety, and love, it's appropriate to disclose our innermost feelings.

Unfortunately, emotional authenticity isn't always valued in churches and Christian organizations. Instead, we emphasize trying harder, looking good, doing what's right, or participating in spiritual activities.

For some of us, we may find it difficult to express our emotions, especially if we have been raised to believe that certain emotions, such as anger or disappointment towards God, are inappropriate or sinful. It grieves me, but we've used Biblical language and Christian terminology to shut down our hearts. That's messed up! God wants to restore our hearts, but his words have been twisted so we feel like we have to fake it.

We want to be fully known and fully loved, but that seems to be a rare experience.

What I want us to see is that reading our Bibles with closed hearts won't help us experience God.

**Did you know that God wants us to acknowledge our feelings?**

In the Garden of Eden, God asked Adam and Eve, "Where are you?" He didn't need new information, but rather, he cared about their fear and shame.

In Mark 8:29, Jesus asked his disciples, "But who do you say that I am?" This question wasn't meant to condemn or judge, but rather to invite the disciples to reflect on their understanding of him.

Another way that God encourages us to be real is through the Psalms. These raw prayers show us that it's good to express our emotions to God, whether we're angry, sad, confused, happy, grateful, or excited.

We need emotional self-awareness and expression to have a meaningful relationship with God. How can you have a great relationship with God if you are emotionally distant from him?

God has provided us with many tools to practice emotional honesty. One of them is 150 Psalms. The Psalms are not just a good example, but a pathway to help us connect with God. If we are angry at God, we can find words to talk with God in Psalms 13, 22, 42, 44, or 74.

What do you think you might tell God that he doesn't already know? Do you fear that you might say something to God that would offend him? But he already knows what's in our hearts! And he loves us.

The question isn't whether we will have a wide variety of emotions in our experience of God—that's unavoidable. What we need to ponder is whether or not we will discuss these feelings with him.

**Our first step to God is to be emotionally honest.**