Best Friends
As I turned from East Parkway onto Union Avenue in Memphis, I asked the student going to the service project with me how his week was going. He shared, "It's pretty stressful. I have two tests tomorrow, and a paper due at the end of the week." I asked, "So, why are you spending your evening with me?" He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Because I promised to help you. I can't go back on my word." For an ambitious, driven student, I knew he felt the cost.
Read 1 Samuel 18:1-5, 20:11-17, 41-42
The Greek philosopher Aristotle identified three kinds of friendship. At the lowest level were friendships of pleasure. Above this were mutually beneficial friendships, where we help one another in practical ways (for instance, our relationships in the marketplace). The rarest and highest form is the friendship of virtue, where friends share a love of what's good and help each other become better people. Aristotle said only these are genuine friendships; the other two forms merely mimic it. Jonathan is Saul's firstborn son. So he's the crown prince, the first in line for the throne. But because his soul is knit to David's, he gives his friend his robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt. At first glance, it sounds like a gift of ordinary clothing, but each of these items symbolizes royal power. The narrator makes the contrast sharp: Saul took David for himself, but Jonathan gave David everything he had. Above Aristotle's highest understanding of friendship, Jonathan and David swear a covenant before God. Jonathan risks his father's wrath by undermining his efforts to kill David, and gives up his own claim to the throne. After Jonathan dies, David keeps the covenantal pledge when he finds Jonathan's crippled son Mephibosheth and seats him at the king's table. Our own understanding of friendship is often disposable. Whether it's scrolling for a better match on a dating app, ghosting a friend, or sending a text message to cancel a meet-up, we evaluate people by what they can offer us. But even though we are transactional and selfish, Jesus chose to make us his friends. On his last night with the disciples, he lifted up a cup that marked his death and announced a new covenant. The covenant Jonathan swore in a field, Jesus signed with his blood. These stories set a noble but crushing standard. I don't have it in me to give up my inheritance for the benefit of a friend, much less lay down my life to save someone else's. The biblical logic runs the other way: Jesus has befriended us, and over time, his faithful friendship displaces our innate self-centeredness. Because he keeps loving us, we start to learn what it would look like to love each other.
Out of everything that Jonathan gave up for David, what cost him the most?
Why do you think Jesus called the disciples 'friends' before they abandoned him?
What would it be like to have a covenantal friendship with someone who loves Jesus?
Pick one task you planned to get done. Skip it and call a friend.