Why I Need Christian Friends
In my first year out of college, as a new campus minister, a student asked me, "Why do you spend so much time with Christians?" I trusted her enough to say, "I don't like the hyper-competitive social dynamics everywhere else. I just do better when I'm around people who love God." Her jaw dropped. She thought I would sound more spiritual.
Read Galatians 5:16-25
I was once taught to put my name in the Bible so I could see how to apply it personally. For this passage, I would read it as, "If Carson walks by the Spirit, then he will certainly not carry out the desire of the flesh" (or in contemporary language, will certainly not live selfishly). If I want more joy, I need to walk up a spiritual mountain with the Holy Spirit. But this turns God's wisdom into generic self-help. Paul wasn't writing to me, but to a competitive, status-seeking community that ranked one another based on how well they obeyed the Law. It's the same legalistic spirituality that I default to. I just one-up the Galatians by being the best at living according to the Spirit instead of the law. I repeat their mistake with more sophisticated word games. Paul doesn't start from insecurity and jealousy, but from life. His appeal is to remember that we are already alive because the Spirit lives within us. We aren't racing to keep up with God's demands, but receiving his ongoing restoration as a gift. So he can promise us that if we are attentive to God's grace, we'll eventually stop looking for ways to tear one another down. Jesus won the cosmic battle over sin, so we don't have to conquer sin by ourselves. Instead, God is saying, "Let me help y'all with that." Walking by the Spirit isn't a speed-walking competition. It's a promise God is inviting us to experience. As God's new creations, it only makes sense to live by a new spiritual strength—the gift of the Holy Spirit. I also default to thinking about myself and God. But instead of developing a personal relationship with God, Paul talks about God developing a Spirit-filled community. As a Southerner, I can appreciate translating this passage with a "y'all" every time it says "you." They're all plural, which makes sense, because the sins destroy relationships and the virtues show what love looks like. We might rationalize that our own jealousy is a private struggle. But when we see it in others, we notice the damage it causes to their relationships. The only purely self-referential requirement is self-control, and it comes last. Even the requirement to "keep in step with the Spirit" refers to a military formation, not an individual journey. I'll admit that my answer to the student's question was self-interested. I do need Christian friends to thrive. But it wasn't selfish. We thrive when we're living our lives with God together. When the Spirit fills our communities, others will wonder what's going on and want to get involved.
What comes to mind when you think about the Holy Spirit?
When have you seen Christians competing with one another? What did it feel like to observe that?
If someone with no interest in God spent a month visiting your church, what would they conclude about God from how you treat each other?
Text a friend and offer a few times when you could meet up with them this week. When you meet, read through Galatians 5:16-25. Start by encouraging one another by sharing how you've seen each other walk by the Spirit. If the trust is there, also share ways you've personally given in to the works of the flesh. End by praying for one another to live by the Spirit.