"Thank you Heavenly Father...to allow us to send a message to all the tyrants, the communists, and the globalists that this is our nation not theirs...Thank you for filling this chamber with patriots that love you and that love Christ." As I listened to Jacob Chansley, also known as The Q Shaman, use a megaphone to speak these words in the U.S. Capitol, I felt ill. How could a violent riot that vandalized Congress, assaulted around 140 police officers, and killed five of them act in the name of Jesus?

A few years ago, I was questioning again whether I still believed in God. To give God a fair chance, I decided to study what the Bible says about who God is. I needed to know if I had lost belief in my understanding of God, or if I had stopped believing in the God of the Bible. Most of what I read was familiar. But a surprising relief came when I realized that the Bible has always described God as incomprehensible. I want a God I can understand, but God has never accommodated that request.

For ten years after college, I worked as a campus minister. So, my income depended on the sacrificial giving of others. For those ten years, I saw God meet my every need. And for the next ten years, I wondered if God would meet my need again. I wish this struggle ended when I got another job or when my wife got promoted. But no matter how my circumstances change, I still wonder if God will be there for me.

I spent years arguing about whether God chose me or I chose God. Scholars on both sides warned me that the other position was unbiblical, dangerous, or even heretical. The debate taught me to think about the Bible as an ammo depot. I developed a habit of going to the Scriptures to get armed for battle. But when I viewed the Bible as a battleground, it distracted me from looking at Jesus.

Before he said a word, his tousled hair and bemused smile identified him as a skeptical Harvard student. "So, what's this about?" he asked, glancing at the conversation starters we'd put up outside of the Science Center. I wanted to tell him about a Jesus who made sense. Not one who would ask him to drink blood and eat flesh.