Following Jesus in Weakness and Strength

We strive to be strong and in control, living in a world where admitting weakness feels like failure. Yet, Jesus invites us to imitate his own need for God and others as a gift that leads to wholeness. Becoming poor in spirit is an opportunity to resist our culture of self-sufficiency and enter the upside-down kingdom where the last are first, the weak are strong, and those who lose their life find it.

To imitate Jesus's model of wise vulnerability by discerning who to trust with our weakness so that we can build authentic, safe friendships that lead to spiritual growth.

Wearing a Suit for God

When I started working at RZIM, the dress code required a coat and tie. I remember showing up at prominent events, hosted before large audiences, with a confident assumption that our work would reach millions of people. I came prepared, ready to lead, and ensure that every detail was handled with excellence. I felt I had to prove that I deserved to be there. I needed others to sense that I had the intellect, the experience, and the determination to lead in a globally important organization. God was with us, and I wanted to bring my best to his mission.

After RZIM fell apart and I had been traumatized by spiritual abuse, I remember walking around like an emotional zombie. I lacked the capacity to organize a Sunday school class. I hardly wanted to wear a coat and a tie, much less invite a ministry celebrity to the stage. Even praying by myself felt hard because I was so angry.

We are all wired to succeed, to grow, to thrive, and to do well in life. There's nothing honorable about sloppy work, careless mistakes, or laziness. But this gift has a shadow side. Instead of stewarding our gifts to honor God and love our neighbors, our goals can shape the core of our beings. Stretched by our aspirations to achieve "big, hairy, audacious goals," we become increasingly self-sufficient and driven. Instead of finding our worth in God's love, we allow it to fluctuate like the stock market, based on the returns of our daily performance. We can't rest because we can't bear to see our value head toward zero. We can't be vulnerable because weakness is the opposite of strength.

But our relentless pursuit of strength looks feeble compared to the life of a much stronger man.

Jesus: The Strongest Man Who Chose Weakness

As we know, Jesus was and is a perfect human. No one has ever surpassed his intellect, goodness, or ability to change the world. Yet he fell asleep in a boat, needed a low-status woman to get him water from a well, wept at the tomb of his friend Lazarus, and prayed for deliverance from the cross. What we see in these stories reflects a man who "emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant" (Philippians 2:7).

When he met a very rich and powerful ruler, Jesus identified the one thing the man didn't have: poverty! The man walked away sad because he could not have both his self-sufficiency and Jesus. Similarly, when Jesus gathered his disciples to explain how life in his kingdom worked, he started on an odd note: "Thriving are the poor in spirit...those who mourn...the humble" (Matthew 5:3-5). His listeners must have wondered: how would Jesus defeat the Roman Empire with humility?

Repeatedly, Jesus shows others that they are wearing empty suits. It's not that Jesus cares whether we wear a suit or a sari, the dashiki or the huipil. The externals vary according to our circumstances, and God encourages us to improve our situation in life (read the Proverbs!). But in the kingdom of God, it's Christlikeness, not clothing, that makes the man or the woman.

And for imperfect, ordinary, struggling disciples, Christlikeness looks like dependence, vulnerability, and weakness. Instead of needing to draw attention to ourselves, our hearts are already filled to capacity with love for God and others. It's not thinking that we're worthless; it's knowing that God has established our worth, so we live by his grace. It's not passivity, but active faith in God in the ongoing challenge to be faithful. It's not wallowing in failure but defining success as God sees it.

The Strength and Wisdom of Jesus

One risk of vulnerability is abuse. Jesus knows this pain because he willingly surrendered himself to the cross. He even allowed Judas to be one of his twelve disciples! For a moment, it appeared that violent bullies and religious hypocrites had won the day. Yet in his resurrection, he demonstrated a strength that can overcome death. Sadly, unless we cut ourselves off from all relationships, there is no way to avoid being taken advantage of. But the resurrection gives us hope that the evil others have done to us will not be the final word.

Even as Jesus made himself vulnerable, he also demonstrated wisdom. For instance, in John 2:24, we're told that Jesus did not entrust himself to a crowd because he knew what was in their hearts. We see him share general teachings with the crowds, deeper explanations with his committed disciples, and practice the most intimacy with his inner circle (Peter, James, and John).

Because vulnerability is so risky, it's important that we first find our security in God. When we experience the unconditional love of God, find our identity in Christ, and trust that we will always be alive in God's presence, we gain the strength to be weak. It's as we humbly open our entire lives to God that he gives us the strength to be honest with others.

Nor do we want to confuse poverty of spirit with spiritual carelessness. Jesus tells us not to throw our pearls to pigs because they will "tear you to pieces" (Matthew 7:6). Jesus wants his disciples to wisely evaluate their friends. For instance, it's not a good idea to share our secrets with someone who intends to harm us.

Notice that Jesus teaches his disciples to embrace poverty of spirit together. The goal isn't to vent, but to draw us close together in supportive friendships. As we slowly share our lives with others, we look for mutuality, a gracious heart, and a steadfast commitment to our good. Poverty of spirit is the essential heart attitude that enables us to follow Jesus together as friends.

Yet even as we care for each other, we also have to remember that we are not responsible for saving others. The language of vulnerability doesn't give us permission to suffocate someone else with our problems! Even as we want to serve one another, it's caring and wise to recognize when someone's request for help goes beyond our capacity to help.

On the other hand, some con artists play the long game! It's never our fault that someone else manipulates, deceives, or tricks us! All we can do is rely on God and do our best to make intentional, wise choices about who to trust. Perhaps one reason that Judas is included in the story is to remind us to stay on guard against those who pretend to love God for their personal benefit. As we reflect on these stories, we discern principles that can give us wisdom for the complexities of life.

Even though it is hard and confusing, the alternative is worse. Have you ever walked into church and sensed, "I'm not good enough"? Everyone looks great, seems happy, and never confesses any serious sins. It's like everyone is on spiritual botox! But what about a church marked by poverty of spirit? When we know we need God and each other, it will bring spiritual vitality to our communities.

Whoever we are, we keep returning to our heavenly Father and saying, "I need you to remind me that I am your beloved child."

A Limp of Grace

In Rembrandt's Jacob Wrestling with the Angel, we see both the tenderness of God (in the angel's face) even as Jacob receives a lifelong limp. In Jacob's closest encounter with God, he received an ongoing reminder that his strength came not from himself, but from God.

God, I confess that too often I trust in myself. I feel anxious that I need to prove my worth to you and to others. Forgive me. Quiet my soul and empty my heart of its endless, exhausting, empty striving. Help me to see my need not as a source of shame, but as an invitation to receive the fullness of your grace. Prepare my heart to be honest with my friends and to receive your love through our conversation. In Christ's name, Amen.