294,636 Words
294,636 words. 589 single-spaced pages. I read them over and over again, trying to understand what I'd learned from interviewing thirty of the most spiritually mature Christians I could find. Finally, the answer became clear: they kept naming people. Their parents, mentors, pastors, friends, spouses, roommates, neighbors, and coworkers. "How do I know if God loves me?" is a question I've asked a hundred times. It drove me to counseling and kept me up late at night talking with friends. Those transcripts explained why those conversations helped.
His prison cell probably didn't have a clean floor. But Paul got on his knees to plead with God because he wanted his friends in Ephesus to be "rooted and firmly established in love." He prays because receiving God's love is a gift. Our relationship starts with humbly asking our Heavenly Father to take care of us. He kneels before "the Father from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named" (3:15). I'll never forget how one of the presidents of Rhodes Christian Fellowship used to pray. She had an amazing dad, and whenever she prayed, she would smile and say, "Heavenly Father" before asking for anything else. She knew first-hand that a good father loves to take care of his children. For those who hadn't grown up with a good dad, her faith showed what the original looks like. Whatever we needed, it was obvious to her to ask her Heavenly Father to get involved. Paul asks the Father to strengthen their inner being through the Holy Spirit so that Christ can live in their hearts. At the Temple in Jerusalem, signs promised death to Gentiles (anyone who wasn't Jewish) who went past the outer courtyard, and Jewish women were restricted to the next courtyard. Only Jewish men could access the Court of Israel. Paul formerly taught this was God's law, but now he teaches that Jesus is establishing residency among the Gentile believers in Ephesus. But how can we make sense of God loving us enough to live with us? At the start of His Friends, we saw in Genesis 2 that it is not good to be alone. But God didn't leave us alone. He came to be our friend and teach us to be friends, so that we could help each other see more of His love. That's why Paul prays that we would grasp God's love "together with all the saints." It was only after weeks of tedious sessions organizing the transcripts by theme that I saw one pattern connected to all the others: relationships. The people who knew God's love most deeply were the ones who kept telling me stories about the Christians they knew. Paul prays because he wants us to know something greater than all the world's information: the love of God. Even if we could take in the infinite length of his love, we wouldn't comprehend its endless width, boundless height, or bottomless depth. Libraries help us gather information, but praying together is how we experience God's inexhaustible love. Earlier in Ephesians, Paul prayed for them to see what God is doing (1:15-23). Now, as Paul prepares to teach the Ephesians to "walk worthy of the calling you have received" (4:1), he knows they will need more than spiritual sight. They will need a God-given capacity to receive God-sized love. That's the only way we can imitate Christ together: if he is with us.
What does it tell us about God that we need all the saints to comprehend the length, width, height, and depth of his love?
Who are the people who showed you God's love? Write down their names.
When you wonder, "Does God love me?" how do you try to answer that question?
If you're physically able to do so, kneel before God and thank him for how he has shown you his love through His friends. Then take some time to reach out to these friends and thank them for how they've helped you grow as God's friend.