An Honest Prayer
My friend asked if he could tell me something personal and private. "Of course," I said. He told me he was interested in a certain girl and asked if I'd pray for him as he was planning to ask her out. I couldn't help but pray with him for everything to go well. But as I walked back to my place, I asked God to reconsider what I'd prayed. What I really wanted God to do was keep them from dating because I was interested in her, too.
When Jonah tried to run away from God, he went to extremes. He left his hometown and sailed toward Tarshish. When he got on the boat, he hid at the bottom and fell asleep. He even asks the sailors to throw him into the sea! Now he asks God to take his life. He remains passive, telling others what they should do. Then, from the stomach of a sea creature, Jonah thanked God for raising his life from the Pit. His prayer sounds like he's having a spiritual awakening: he promises to sacrifice to God, give him thanks, and fulfill his vows. We've already seen that his prayer was more self-serving than it looks. But if we wanted to see a spiritual awakening, his prayer gave us hope. The first hint that Jonah hadn't changed was that he walked into the city for one day and only said five words. In this angry prayer, we hear what he really thinks. He's upset that God spared the Ninevites, so now he doesn't want God to spare his life. His stubbornness is not softened, whether God shows mercy to him or to others. Whatever Jonah sees God doing, he asks for the opposite. The more clearly we see that Jonah is committed to the destruction of an entire population, the harder it is to be merciful to him. But God continues to offer Jonah mercy. Instead of punishing Jonah with immediate death, he asks a tender question: "Is it right for you to be angry?" It's the question God asked Cain when his offering was rejected (Genesis 4:6). In both cases, they're upset that God was good to someone else. Just like Jesus asked questions that exposed the real issue, God's question pinpoints Jonah's problem: he's sure he's right, so he's sure his anger is righteous. In Romans 5, Paul tells us: "For while we were still helpless, at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly. For rarely will someone die for a just person—though for a good person perhaps someone might even dare to die. But God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." I can understand why God would give his life for Elijah or Mary. God's mercy extended not only to Nineveh but to Jonah.
What does God's response to Jonah's prayer tell us about how he responds to our unfiltered prayers?
When have your prayers sounded more pious than you felt?
What's one grudge you hold that you're convinced is right?
Tell God, "What I really want to happen is [...]. That's the truth. But now I want you to tell me if I need to change. Be merciful to me and show me what you want me to see. Amen."