Before we go and tell, maybe the first step is to go and listen.
Too often, we prepare Christians to go and tell. But maybe the first step is to go and listen.
In one of my D.Min. courses, a professor said there was only one rule for our conversations: "Listen to understand, speak to serve."
It turns out there are two kinds of listening. There's listening to understand someone else's beliefs. And then there's listening to understand someone else's heart. Here's how The Greater Good Project at Berkeley explains this kind of listening, better known as empathy:
"The term 'empathy' is used to describe a wide range of experiences. Emotion researchers generally define empathy as the ability to sense other people's emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling.
Contemporary researchers often differentiate between two types of empathy: 'Affective empathy' refers to the sensations and feelings we get in response to others' emotions; this can include mirroring what that person is feeling, or just feeling stressed when we detect another's fear or anxiety.
'Cognitive empathy,' sometimes called 'perspective taking,' refers to our ability to identify and understand other people's emotions."
**Let me be emphatic: Listening isn't just good advice. It's the kind of lifestyle that resurrected people live!**
In James 1:18-19 we read, "By his own choice, he gave us birth by the word of truth so that we would be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures. My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for human anger does not accomplish God's righteousness."
Do you want a gospel-shaped life? The good news of the resurrection gives us an eagerness to listen!
But what about the contrast James makes between listening and anger? How is that relevant to this course? Well, have you ever gotten frustrated - maybe even upset - that someone isn't listening to what you have to say about God? I confess that I have.
Sometimes I hear about preachers scolding non-Christians for not being at church. Some of my friends on Facebook post tirades about how people need Jesus. That anger is the antithesis of love.
What's the solution? Experience the reality that, by the resurrection, God has made us a new creation. We can reverse the trend by listening well.
As I've listened to skeptics, here's what I've heard them say about the resurrection: - They think it's false - mythical nonsense - They don't want it to be true - they desire something or someone besides Jesus - They are hurt - the hypocrisy of Christians, or the church, has turned them off - or they've been abused by people who claim the name of Jesus - They're excluded - there is no community of Christians that would welcome them to belong at their church - They're indifferent - they don't see why the resurrection matters
**The resurrection motivates us to go and tell. But it also invites us to go and listen.**
By his own choice, he gave us birth by the word of truth so that we would be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures. My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for human anger does not accomplish God's righteousness.
What have you learned from listening to skeptics about their perspective on the resurrection?
How does anger or frustration affect your ability to share the gospel?
What would it look like for you to 'go and listen' this week?
In the next week, start a conversation where your primary goal is to listen. No agenda, just be curious about their lives and experiences.
After your conversation, reflect on: What did I learn about my friend's perspective? How do I want to pray for them? How do I want to continue the conversation?
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