The Debt You Could Never Repay
I was at Crunch, on the second rep of my bicep curls, and without warning, I nearly dropped the weights. "I just want to say this to you as a friend," whispered my bully. Every time he used the language of friendship to mask the threats, it fragmented my soul. The conversation happened years ago, but it felt like he had snuck up behind me in the gym. Almost instantly, I reflexively prayed, "God, help me to forgive!" But I was so angry. When would the resentment ever go away?
Matthew 18:21-35
Then Peter approached him and asked, "Lord, how many times should I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? As many as seven times?" "I tell you, not as many as seven," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven. For this reason, the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle accounts, one who owed ten thousand talents was brought before him. Since he did not have the money to pay it back, his master commanded that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had be sold to pay the debt. "At this, the servant fell facedown before him and said, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you everything.' Then the master of that servant had compassion, released him, and forgave him the loan. "That servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him, started choking him, and said, 'Pay what you owe!' "At this, his fellow servant fell down and began begging him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' But he wasn't willing. Instead, he went and threw him into prison until he could pay what was owed. When the other servants saw what had taken place, they were deeply distressed and went and reported to their master everything that had happened. Then, after he had summoned him, his master said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Shouldn't you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?' And because he was angry, his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he could pay everything that was owed. So also my heavenly Father will do to you unless every one of you forgives his brother or sister from your heart."
Why does Jesus tell a story with absurd numbers? It would take 165,000 years for the servant to pay back his 10,000 talent debt. He'd need to collect more coins than there were in circulation. But after receiving the biggest debt relief of the millennia, this former prisoner stalks out of the throne room in a rage to shake down a guy who owed him a couple of months of work. His debtor pleads for forgiveness using the exact words the wicked servant had just used! But this calculating, entitled man ignores it and drags the poor man to prison. One debtor steals mercy so he can be merciless, while a compassionate king forgives everything so he can serve his people. Sometimes this parable is weaponized to force the abused to forgive. But notice what happens to the abused man in this story: the king's advisors take the initiative to advocate for him, the king hears their petition, and this heartless oppressor goes back to jail! Forgiveness isn't the same as excusing evil or injustice. This story shows our Heavenly Father prioritizes compassion, but never at the cost of justice. If we humbly beg him for forgiveness, he will release us from all our debts. If we leave his presence overwhelmed with gratitude and wanting to forgive others, then we've received the message, even if it is a difficult struggle. The only person who should read this parable and fear God's judgment is the one who doesn't care about forgiveness at all. You don't have to perfectly forgive so God will keep forgiving you. It's the opposite: we're freed to forgive because God has completely forgiven us.
Reflection Questions
When you struggle to forgive, do you feel more like you're "wicked" or "weak"? How does the King's response to the servant change how you see your own struggle?
Have you ever had a memory ambush you? What tends to trigger those moments for you?
When you think about forgiving someone who hurt you, does it feel more like something you're required to do (so God keeps forgiving you) or something you're freed to do (because God has already forgiven you)?
One Thing to Try
Tell a friend about someone you're struggling to forgive. Ask them to pray that you'd be able to trust both the compassion and justice of God.